Going forward, we have decided to terminate the employment of Michael Appleton.
The board convened earlier today and the takeaway from our roundtable discussions resulted in the departure of Mr. Appleton from Blackburn Rovers Football Club.
We decided to touch base about this offline in order to action this because The Economist says that businesses need to be lean and robust and capable of dealing with the fast paced business environment of today.
The chief conclusion from our deliberations is that we needed a new hand on the tiller. Having recruited from an emerging market in Scandinavia without sufficiently impressive results, we turned to Mr. Appleton as he had experience of managing a team from Lancashire that also happens to start with the syllable ‘Black’.
Relocation expenses were thus unnecessary and our mission statement has long included a wish to take advantage of the presence of low hanging fruit.
We need to pre-prepare for another year of Championship football by engaging in a degree of three hundred and sixty degree thinking and taking advantage of the flexible labour market offered to us by the United Kingdom. This was always likely to provide a quick win.
So, not wishing to allow the grass to grow too long under our feet, we have lined up our ducks in a row.
These ducks include experienced names: Phil, Iain, Curbs and Mark.
Hence, we are cascading this decision down to the press although we shall not be rushed into a decision – a process of discoverability will be entered into and the granularity of the situation properly taken into account.
We need to indulge in blue sky thinking in order to avoid slipping into negative territory – the kind of blue ocean strategy that saw us challenge Bernard Matthews as an innovator in poultry solutions.