Frozen Planet: Sir David Attenborough’s secret football code

Posted by on Nov 3, 2011 in Championship, The Seventy Two | One Comment

Just what is Sir David Attenborough’s game? Do you really think he’s genuinely interested in all that nature stuff? I’m not buying it. He’s clearly trying to tell us something. And I reckon I’ve worked out what it is. Frozen Planet is just a front. A facade. A vehicle for his views about football. Consider this cast-iron evidence…


“They are places of superlatives… These are places that feed our imaginations, places that feed our fairytales…”

Camp Nou


“The highest, driest and coldest territory on earth. The winds up here are the fastest on earth. It’s the most spectacular seasonal change taking place anywhere on our planet… This is our planet’s last true wilderness and one that is changing just as we are beginning to understand it. Nowhere is colder, windier or more hostile to life. The greatest challenge to life here is not the cold, but the extreme swings between the seasons…”

Boundary Park


“We’ll be travelling to all parts of these lonely lands, both north and south, to witness its wonders perhaps for the last time and to discover the most extraordinary examples of survival against all the odds as can be found anywhere on the planet…”

Plymouth


“The most powerful land predator is on the prowl. Willing females are few and far between. This is an exciting prospect. For the male, his only tender encounter in an otherwise solitary life. Bloodier battles are to come. A dynamic process is underway. A monster… is stirring…”

Allardyce


“This is the titanic force that cuts down mountains and levels the surface of continents. As it gains speed, huge crevasses open that extend down to its very core. Something must give. The pack is twenty-five strong, a sign that the prey they are seeking is formidable…”

Stoke City


“The wolves will need to work as a team if they are to make a kill. A stroke of luck for the wolves. At the frozen ends of our planet, the struggle for survival never eases…”

McCarthy


“Some, like the great grey owl, appear for the boomtimes and then disappear like a phantom…”

Megson


“A southern sea lion…”

Redknapp


“Rarely do hunter and hunted play their roles with such little skill. The outcome is anyone’s guess…”

WBA Everton


“Even smaller prey are a problem if you can’t reach them. The solution is teamwork. They regroup and assess the damage. A more powerful wave is needed. Now they are close enough to get a good look at their target…”

Swansea


“Exhausted, it no longer has the energy to pull itself to safety. Game over…”

Avram Grant


“Few of us will ever experience this strangely still world and no one as yet knows much about it…”

Ricoh Arena


“Some are taller than a man. This sculptured spire is the remnant of a mountain eroded from all sides by the ferocious elements…”

Crouch


“Three miles thick in places…”

Keys


Quotations taken from Episode 1 of Frozen Planet (first shown on BBC 1, 26th October).

The Seventy Two
The Seventy Two published an outstanding series of articles about the Football League between 2010-12 and was the brainchild of Leicester City fan, David Bevan. As well as collaborating with The Two Unfortunates on the Football League Blog Network and a mammoth 2011-12 season preview, the site featured a host of leading bloggers and David was rewarded with a nomination in the 2011 Football Supporters’ Federation awards. Latterly, he was joined as co-editor by Joe Harrison and TTU is happy to present this archive of the site’s output.

1 Comment

  1. Rob
    November 3, 2011

    Brilliant! Though can’t help thinking the great grey owl must refer to Sven…

    Reply

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