Leon Best: an apology


Dear Leon Best.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Kind Regards,
The Seventy Two.


I have been wrong about a lot of things this season. A hell of a lot. I thought Middlesbrough would win the Championship. I thought Watford would struggle. I wrote something entitled “Burley surely the right man for Palace”. I labelled Kris Boyd the best signing of the summer (which was written before anyone had signed anyone decent, in my defence) in the Championship.

Boyd topped a list of three which was completed by Andrew Surman and Stephen O’Halloran. You may have overlooked their incredible achievements in the campaign up to now.

I slagged off Andy Keogh and made a sarcastic comment about waiting for his inevitable last-minute goal. Which he promptly went and scored, without the merest hint of sarcasm.

Sarcasm was also an issue during the recent game between Arsenal and Chelsea at the Emirates Stadium when I gave Theo Walcott the middle name “End Product” after a particularly woeful cross. Walcott made one and scored one as Arsenal romped to victory.

I thought Paulo Sousa might succeed at Leicester City. I qualify this statement by saying that I also wrote several pieces for various outlets about how I thought Sousa would struggle, but a couple of half-decent performances in pre-season somehow convinced me otherwise for a brief spell.

I predicted that Radoslaw Majewski was the midfielder most likely to score a hatful of goals this season in the Championship. Radoslaw Majewski’s appearances so far? 16. Radoslaw Majewski’s goals? 2.

Bewildering, isn’t it? How can such an erudite football mastermind be so comprehensively inaccurate on such an alarmingly regular basis?

Hmm.

Well, anyway, it is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I must add yet another item to the gargantuan list above.

Leon Best, I am truly sorry.

Sorry for alluding to your utter ineptitude as a professional footballer at the highest level.

Sorry for suggesting that you were the worst January transfer window signing of all time.

Sorry for implying that you were not worthy of playing in the best league in the world (nor the Premier League…)

Sorry for somehow only having seen you play like a carthorse with three broken legs and one strapped at the knee.

For tonight, Leon, you have truly bested me (I know, that should have been the title, shouldn’t it…)

You scored a hat-trick, Leon, against West Ham United and thusly you have proven unto me your value as a highly-paid sportsman.

A hat-trick, Leon. Three goals, Leon. No, not your final season tally (although it might still be, the useless lump). In ONE GAME.

THREE GOALS. ONE GAME.

You know when the referee came up to you at the end of the match and offered you the matchball? That is the traditional reward for scoring three goals in one match, just in case your gifted forward play had not resulted in this feat being achieved before in your career.

Really, we should all be thanking Leon this evening, and indeed every evening, for the hope he has imbued in the human race.

If Leon Best is capable of a Premier League hat-trick, who knows what we can all achieve in our time on this planet?

One last salute is due to the fine defensive stalwarts representing the proud claret and blue of West Ham United this evening. Well done on your sterling work in the North East. How hard you must have grafted to restrict the effervescent Best to a mere trio of strikes. How gallant your efforts. How close you were to a sheet of glistening cleanliness.

Please don’t be put off. Please read the site. Occasionally I strike gold with an opinion that is not rendered completely invalid within a fortnight.

What a splendid game this is, eh?

PS – I always rated that Benjani, mind.

The Seventy Two
The Seventy Two published an outstanding series of articles about the Football League between 2010-12 and was the brainchild of Leicester City fan, David Bevan. As well as collaborating with The Two Unfortunates on the Football League Blog Network and a mammoth 2011-12 season preview, the site featured a host of leading bloggers and David was rewarded with a nomination in the 2011 Football Supporters’ Federation awards. Latterly, he was joined as co-editor by Joe Harrison and TTU is happy to present this archive of the site’s output.

4 Comments

  1. Ricey
    January 5, 2011

    Having watched the doubting of Mr Best from yourself on Twitter, I must admit I chuckled 3 goals later.

    Reply
    • theseventytwo
      January 5, 2011

      Yeah, alright. Don’t milk it.

      haha

      Reply
  2. Michael
    January 6, 2011

    To be fair, that was probably a view shared by 100% of Newcastle fans before last night.
    Not me, of course. I always said he was brilliant.
    No, honestly…

    Reply
  3. Dave
    January 6, 2011

    I may or may not have included him along with Boumsong and Bridges in a list of terrible NUFC January signings (anyone believe it was just for the alliteration?) on the very morning of the game. I now immediately regret that decision.

    Reply

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